


Too Mean

by dreamofalamprey



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crying, Dom/sub, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:38:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamofalamprey/pseuds/dreamofalamprey
Summary: A scene goes badly for Maria. Eliza and Alexander comfort her afterwards.





	Too Mean

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me, this is my first time writing something like this. 
> 
> \--
> 
> Trigger Warning for mentions / brief descriptions of domestic abuse

"Fucking pathetic," Alexander spat, laughing darkly, "God, have a little pride."

Maria gasped and nodded, her chin shining with spit and precome. She ducked back down, wanting to be good, to keep going, but Alexander clicked his tongue and forced her to look at him, two fingers pressing against her throat. 

"Ah, ah, ah,” he said, “slowly.”

Her lips were slick and soft. He was hard, but acting like he wasn’t enjoying this. Maybe he wasn’t. Sometimes it was hard to tell. She moved her tongue slowly, speeding up only when she heard his voice from above telling her to do so. 

He finished in her mouth, and she swallowed obediently. He grabbed and handful of her hair and pulled her up to her feet. 

“Oh, I bet you loved that,” he said, pushing her onto the bed. 

She nodded, arching her back on the sheets. He leaned over her, touching his nose to her collarbone. She moaned loudly. He loved it when she did that. His breath was hot on her neck.  

"Such a desperate little  _ slut,  _ aren't you?"

At these words, Maria choked and faltered. Her eyes widened, and she tensed underneath Alexander's weight. 

_ Slut.  _

_ Slut.  _

_ SLUT.  _

Suddenly, she wasn't alone with Alexander in their bedroom anymore. She was back with James, choking, struggling to breath, with her back against the wall, shoulder digging into the drywall. 

_ "Fucking slut - you filthy little whore, how the hell could you do this? After everything I fucking give to you? Are you fucking kidding me-" _

She sputtered, trying not stop a mangled sob that she could feel in her throat. 

"I'm sorry," she said, eyes wide but unseeing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I promise, I'm sorry-"

Alexander got off from her and sat up. He reached for her wrist to help her upright, but she flinched at the touch, only crying harder. 

"Maria!" 

He was shouting - why was he shouting? Because she had done something wrong, because she was awful, she was repulsive, she was nothing. She deserved what was coming to her. 

"Maria-"

She didn't even need for him to touch her to recoil, almost slipping off the bed in an effort to get away. 

"I'm sorry!"

She was shaking, sobbing, tears and snot streaming down her face and getting into her hair. Blabbering wildly, she backed up against the closet door, trying to find her way into the corner of the room. She needed somewhere safe. 

“I didn’t- I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking! I know I messed up, I messed up, I’m sorry, just please  _ don’t-!” _

She dissolved into a terrified whimper when Alexander dared take a step towards her, confusion and panic written all over his face. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, lowering his hands, “Maria, please-”

She couldn’t hear him. She couldn’t move her eyes away from his hands. Those hands that could throttle her, that could break her, bruise her skin. She was breathing hard and heavy now, rocking back and forth. She was in trouble. She was in trouble. She was in  _ so  _ much trouble. 

Even when Alexander left the room, mumbling something about making things better, just wait, she didn’t stop crying. Didn’t stop fidgeting, or mumbling apologies to herself.

When she heard the sound of the bedroom door opening again, her eyes shot forward. She looked like a deer in the headlights.  Upon seeing that it was Eliza, she swallowed, trying to quiet herself. Why was she acting like this? Now everyone was getting involved and they were going to be so angry and she was going to get it now- 

“Maria?”

Eliza’s voice was soft and gentle. She came forward carefully, stopping when she was a few feet away from Maria, who cowered closer to the wall. 

“Maria, honey, you’re okay. It’s okay-”

She eased a little closer, until she was able to wrap her arms around Maria’s trembling shoulders. Maria’s breathing evened out, but she didn’t stop shaking. She couldn’t help but think of how disgusting she must have looked, half-dressed, her face still dripping. Eliza wiped some of the mess away with the sleeve of her sweater, and ran a hand through Maria’s hair. 

“I-”

Words seemed to evade her. The fear that had filled her stomach, however, had not. She had to tell Eliza, but she couldn’t. Alexander was standing in the doorway. But this was bad, something bad was going to happen- 

“Shh,” said Eliza, “It’s alright, you’re safe.”

Maria shook her head. 

“No,” she whispered, hoping to God he wouldn’t hear, “he’s mad at me. I ruined things. He’s mad, he’s gonna-”

She broke off before she could finish. Eliza squeezed her hand. 

“Alexander isn’t mad. Don’t cry. He’s not mad. You know he’d never hurt you.”

She wanted to believe this, but she just couldn’t be convinced. There was a time when she thought that James would never hurt her. She shook her head again. 

“He said ‘slut,’” she said, staring ahead and biting into her lip, “James used to say ‘slut.’”

“Oh, my God,” said Alexander, causing her to shrink into Eliza’s arms, “Maria, no, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know.”

Maria squeezed her eyes shut. A couple hot tears leaked out. 

“I just,” she began, barely speaking above a whisper, trying to steady herself, “I hear- that…  _ word…  _ and I feel like I’m back there. With him.”

“Shit,” said Alexander, “Maria, listen-”

He grabbed the hand that Eliza was already holding. She looked up at him with shining eyes. 

“You are never, ever going to see him again. You’re safe here. We want to keep you safe here, me, and Eliza, and John.”

She sniffed, and nodded. 

“I want to take care of you, alright? You’re so sweet, you’re so good, I just want to make you happy. I’m sorry. I don’t want to ever do anything that makes you feel like this, okay?”

“I- liked most of it,” said Maria, “that was just… too mean.”

“I’m sorry.”

He sounded it. 

“That’s okay.”

Eliza cleared her throat. 

“Why don’t we go and wash up, huh? 

“Okay.”

Maria let Alexander and Eliza help her to her feet. Eliza took her to the bathroom and ran a bath for her. She shed her skirt and slipped beneath the water while Eliza sat on the edge of the tub. 

“What do you say we all climb into bed and just take the night off?”

Maria rubbed her face clean with her wet hands. 

“That sounds nice.”

 

When she was clean and dry and dressed in new pajamas, she went back into the bedroom, where John and Alexander were already waiting. 

“Hey, kid,” said John, lifting up the covers so she could climb inside, “come lay down with us.”

She could sense the tension in his voice, but took the invitation. She rested her head on his shoulder. At least John hadn’t seen her cry. Yet. 

The bed dipped when Eliza came in too. She felt soft fingers on her arms, Alexander’s hands on her hips. Gentle. 

“You know how much I love you, right?”

She moved her head a fraction of an inch in confirmation. 

“I know.” 


End file.
